Touch

The first contact is the first tingle. It isn't discomfort. It isn't fear exactly either. I wouldn't call it anxiety. Just plain dislike.

I find myself time and again giving just enough an aura to keep people a physical distance away from me. People who are unfamiliar at least.

I'm really not sure when or even how I have come to notice it, but when I did, it doesn't help much with the situation at all.

It is my personal space. It's as simple as that. I don't like the idea of mine being violated, so I don't violate others'.

But it really does take great courage for me to relax, to just let someone in. To disable all alarms and just let them enter this space.

It isn't easy for me. It still isn't.

Familiarity is never the same as being comfortable with someone now is it? To not only let someone in, but to visit theirs? It's terrifying.

But when you do, everything just melts. Cause that's what it's like. That's what it's like to have a guest in your space. Everything changes. Everything.

And once you visit the space of another, you really just don't wanna leave. The grass is greener on the other side and all, but sometimes it's just the comfort of it.

Sometimes, it's just nice to lean, to be held.