Knight

Back against only the willpower that pushes me onwards, death, I may just make it to our little reunion today.

I cannot even begin to imagine, what is it they see? Each kill resonates like an earthquake when I lie on the ground.

Every heartbeat pulses like a hammer to my head. God, everything hurts.

Nothing is felt. The stabs, the pierces, the blows. Everything is just so, numb.

My breath grows shallower as I lose blood.

Pewter

Look upon it's surface and tell me, do you really not see its faded shade of grey?

Each dot almost protrudes grotesquely from its body, I can feel it piercing me from a mile away.

What is it? Why is it like this?

Impart material and polish it till it shines. Make it glow. Make is practically sing.

I'm sure no one would notice until your voice was coarse again.

Corn

Cause insanity is just the world's way to let us see what is true.

Fall into yourself and take a look around you, is there anything that is truly sane?

Scream fight flood crowd bleed moan weep

There is a war in my head and the battlefield that is the essence of myself is having maniacal laughter.

Do you think we will ever wake up for this dream?

I see the wonder of how things are imperfect. How great is flaw that gives uniqueness to everything.

Tell me a story, sing me a song.

Let us sleep.

Mirror

Whisper sweet lies into my ear and let me live in fantasy for a moment.

The sky calls to me like an abyss sucking in what's left of me.

I feel like a frozen turkey deep fried only for two seconds.

How long has it been since I had a taste, a bite, a nibble?

Sinking my fingers into blankets once familiar, has it been so long?

Smile and look into my eyes, do you see the void that fills me to the brim?

Jump, prance, sing, dance, laugh the night away.

Raise your glass and let us drink.

To the company that is myself, cheers.

Flesh

Look into the reflection of things and tell me, is there not beauty in despair?

Bath in the blood of enemies. Deep fry half their bodies and eat them alive. They deserve no pity.

The chills and thrills and screams. How wonderful is it's symphony.

We walk up the mountains candle in hand, meat in another. When the lights go out we feast in silence. The moon is out only company.

Forget the world, forget it all. Drown in the ecstasy that is yourself. Wake up and smell the cadavers.

Open your eyes and laugh the night away.

Lemonade

Right out of the box, it is complete. It is at your whim, just sitting there, waiting for you.

Think about everything that has ever happened to you. Now think how many of those events were spoon-fed to you.

For things not to go your way is statistically common. But sometimes things just go your way does it not?

Some call it luck, some call it preparation. Whatever its name, it provides exactly what you are looking for.

So step up and took a look at the world as it is, and take a leap of faith.

Because failure is expected, but success can be pretty sweet.

Ongoing

The train departs on schedule. Scorched earth behind us all. Everything is painted in black.

What do you think awaits us as we travel onwards? The tracks leads to places unknown to even the conductor.

A cold desert. The moon lights everything just enough to see the cracks on the ground. Everything is so beautifully broken.

It has been barely three days. There is almost no slowing down from the train. Quite the self sufficient technology.

We have just been granted access to leave our cabins. It would seem the emergency management is finally complete.

I don't blame them. If the food replicators broke down completely, we would all be doomed.

I wonder, if this goes on, would we loop around the world?

Years now, all we see are deserts. It would seem the train is powered by its own movement somehow. Fascinating.

Everything is so incredibly dull. More than half the passengers have already committed suicide.

It feels nice to have the entire carriage to myself I admit. Though frankly, I have half a mind to shoot myself at this point.

Belief

Corridors. Think, do I know you? Do you know me?

Empty homes and broken families. Let us all gather and pretend everything is alright.

If you were kidnapped, would I save you? Or would I encourage them? Join them?

I once had a dream, it involved peering outside, hoping the people wouldn't notice I was inside. I was scared.

But I was there only because I was going to betray you.

So tell me, knowing this, would you trust me?

Notice

When you know nothing, sight is all that matters, it is all there is, and all that can be.

I'm not saying its unreliable, but it doesn't help with detail. At least, not much.

But when you peer into the core of things, you start to see things you might not want to see.

The thing about it all is that forgetting is not easy when you recall things often.

Because really, would you want to meet your own inner demons?

Fly

Blindfolds and straps.

Pulling everything in tighter and tighter. Can you feel it? Can you feel everything fading away?

Numbness spreads like wildfire once you stop worrying about it. Feel its burn fade but exist.

The skin and fur presses against leather. Everything is bounded, choking, suffocating.

If your skin would tear, would I care? Or would I watch, knowing you are tied down to earth? There is no hope, only opportunity.

So flay the bodies around you and make wings, so when you fall, you would at least have blankets to sleep in.

Shoot

Ready. Aim.

Do you think, you could ever stand so much into someone's shoes that you can justify it is a life no longer worth living?

Do you think, all life is precious, or that life is just a pointless process?

There is such a thing as right and wrong, even if you do not know which is which.

Think, is it right?

Fire.

Journey

Even with the ups and downs and messes and calms, the day will still likely to end in the mood you last experienced.

I sometimes like to see the moods of a day as a zero-sum thing. Equal parts of good and bad can and will happen.

Though of course, when one thinks about it, it never really is such a case now is it?

Knowledge is the key that which can drive the course of a day to be within your grasps.

So take the wheel and steer clear of useless things and drive yourself to the path of glory.

Snap

Because sometimes, it's easy. Sometimes, there isn't even room to allow you to over-think. Sometimes, it's just straight to the point like that.

Because when you think about it, it all boils down to your own individual wants and needs.

Because when everything is in place, and there is room for you to make pretty much any decision, you only need to think of yourself.

So let yourself be selfish for once in your life.

Fall?

Standing on the edge, the joy, the rush, pulse coursing through one's veins. The situation of it all.

It's interesting when something isn't real, knowing so will often not have effect on one's senses. Only so much stimuli can be conveyed.

The times when knowing something isn't real but it still has the effects to affect you greatly is quite the feat.

But when it's really real, and you feel every fibre of your body telling you not to do something, and you do it knowingly, purposefully, with intention and not choosing to ignore that which is your fear, you can almost feel the thrill override it.

And that feeling alone is worth doing it all over again.

Clay

The way every inch begins to crack, almost representing how nothing it permanent.

You have to first want it you see. Cause when you do, you start to gather the resources needed for it in the first place.

Don't be discouraged if you can't get it right the first time. Live and learn, live and learn.

Everything starts with a goal, begins with starting at all, and works because you have a plan. Do you have a plan?

Mold it. Shape it. Perfect it. Yet no matter how well you refine your skills, things can still change when it comes out of the kiln.

Do not be disappointed if nothing goes your way. Live and learn, live and learn.

Abandon

Oh calm down young chap, you really ought to worry about yourself more than others.

You really need to stop pitying others you know. Can't keep stressing yourself out like that, you'll get a heart attack.

For someone carrying such a long face, one would think you almost don't want to talk about it. You surprise me you know.

Don't give me that look. You know well enough you chose to speak with me because I don't really give a damn.

You clearly know I am a stranger that would not bother to bring up this conversation to another soul.

I would say you should deal with your greed in the first place, but greed is a good motivation at times. Moderation is key.

No no, I'm not saying it's impossible, anything is possible. Sure there are exceptions but if you try hard enough, you can always achieve what you set out to do.

Understand what it is you truly want and set out to get it. With a proper plan, you can at least get close I'm sure. That's how to get what you crave.

Me? No, that's not what I do. I just learn to stop craving.

Peel

The feeling hits you like a pinch, as if your stomach has turned into stone. It's so, vile.

I want to tear flesh apart just to pull it out. It's so unwanted, so unneeded. A burden.

Blood is important for a human being you see. You can't just start pulling things apart without regard to safety and hygiene. Gotta remember that it is important to function.

Funny how society needs people to function, and people need to function to eject themselves into society.

No man is an island. The fact itself is like pus from a dying animal's flesh. It's like the scum accumulated at the end of a clogged up drain. How I hate it so.

I would slice up my skin and pull everything that feels bad out if it didn't kill me. Sure I may inevitably pull out my brain, but at least then I'd be dead.

Every movement hurts, annoys. This steaming pile of putrid excrement is beyond the point of unbearable.

My veins pulse with revolting fluids. I'd tear it all out if I could.

Process

To come to answers which are more complex then necessary right off the bat is commonplace for me.

Not out of the question I suppose, considering the exposure one gets to generic problems.

Requirements, general description, then ideas.

Always the ideas that is the main attraction. Simpler is always better in most cases. Amazing how a simple objective can have such a complex procedure.

It's not easy to come up with a simple idea that works. Complexity often comes with fragility. But simplicity often comes with lots of brain racking.

There is certain joy in figuring things out. A challenge is always welcomed.

Though coming up with the ideas itself can often be almost a physically painful process, I wouldn't say it is enough to call me a masochist.

Feel

Is it strange that I have no idea how to respond to things? To words? To actions? To scenery? To first hand experience?

Instinctively sure, I can always give some form of emotional response I suppose. But everything gets so rigid, so inflexible.

I wouldn't say I have lost the capacity to experience emotion. Everything is still in place. Still capable of working if effort is applied.

Perhaps the best metaphor is that everything is more like a maze now? Nothing flows the same way as before anymore.

To process will always take a longer time as compared to instinct. Perhaps I can simply not processing as much. But I can't really help it.

When I go out into the public, I don't wear a paper bag over my head. At this rate, I might as well do so.

Sewn

You, who walks with me through the thick and thin of my life. Never tired, never complaining.

You, who would fly if I asked you to, who would get hit by a car if I so much as request it, who would gladly live or die at my whim.

You, who stay by my side through my conquers and defeat, never laughing at my loss, never cheering at my success.

You, who never kicks me when I'm down, but would never help me up.

You, who would slip into slumber if care not to move you, but always, always comply to my movements.

You, who could hide so perfectly, so completely, if I allow you to, despite feeling neither shy nor fearful.

You, who allows me to act in complete reserve or danger without uttering a single word.

You, who watches my every merit and mistake, but never judge me, and instead joins me on my every decision.

But they say nothing is permanent in the world.

Oh shadow, will you one day leave me too?

Throat

How much does it take to strangle someone to death?

I never could shake away the uneasiness that comes to me easily. It takes time, patience, persistence. Over time, it flows away, but never easily.

Heart rate at 126 beats per minute. Damn it, die already. Adrenalin always helps, but at this rate I'll like get a heart attack before all breath is lost.

I always thought that things would be easy if I could break it down into its various components. One step at a time, surely one can reach their goals in time.

Everything hurts. Every. Damn. Thing. Hurts. Ropes are such pretty things when they are around necks aren't they?

I once considered the idea of just running wild. To just let it all go and be whatever it is that comes to mind. Is it not great to release oneself from every and all restraints?

The only familiarity of it all was from practice. My sweat seems to still be a hindering factor. Not like I'll ever do this again but still, good to know I suppose?

I think at the end of the day it doesn't really have to make any sense. Treat the symptom, not the cause.

I can almost feel the life being squeezed out. Everything is turning black. Funny how everything still hurts.

How much does it take to strangle yourself to death?

Law

Many a time I am reminded that the seam between dreams and reality and actually more distinct than not. It is there and more importantly, it is obvious.

Intoxicated or not, it is never the perception of the border that plays a part, it is the border itself. There is a right and wrong.

So in days where I sit on the edge and play with the seam that parts these two worlds, I am ever so careful to walk only within the border.

You never know if someone is watching. You never know if you cross, someone will take you away. Better safe than sorry is a policy I often uphold.

This is not a lonely road to walk. Often there are others here, exploiting its limits. Pushing far beyond any decent person would dare.

Stay too long and you begin to lose sight you see. You start to waver. You start to cross the border.

It sometimes get hard to care about things. It sometimes just seems such a pain to care.

So you just casually make sure no one is watching, and run across.

Hope

Close you eyes. Sit back. Drown in the ambience of nothingness around you.

For a while pretend, pretend everything is going right. Pretend nothing can possibly go wrong. Pretend everything is going your way.

Three. Two. One.

There is no reason to stop now is there? Not a good reason at least. Go on, continue. There isn't harm in doing so.

The seed of despair is planted as a prerequisite. The seed of disappointment. The seed sadness.

Did you know, if you tried hard enough, you actually Can remove all weeds? Consistency will always be key.

I don't want to hear excuses. I can come up with enough of them on my own. I don't need your contribution in this regard.

So let's all close our eyes and pretend.

Touch

The first contact is the first tingle. It isn't discomfort. It isn't fear exactly either. I wouldn't call it anxiety. Just plain dislike.

I find myself time and again giving just enough an aura to keep people a physical distance away from me. People who are unfamiliar at least.

I'm really not sure when or even how I have come to notice it, but when I did, it doesn't help much with the situation at all.

It is my personal space. It's as simple as that. I don't like the idea of mine being violated, so I don't violate others'.

But it really does take great courage for me to relax, to just let someone in. To disable all alarms and just let them enter this space.

It isn't easy for me. It still isn't.

Familiarity is never the same as being comfortable with someone now is it? To not only let someone in, but to visit theirs? It's terrifying.

But when you do, everything just melts. Cause that's what it's like. That's what it's like to have a guest in your space. Everything changes. Everything.

And once you visit the space of another, you really just don't wanna leave. The grass is greener on the other side and all, but sometimes it's just the comfort of it.

Sometimes, it's just nice to lean, to be held.

Doodle

For once again in my life, I let my thoughts flow onto ink, onto graphite, staining onto used paper. Just pour pour and pour.

To see it in my head does not mean it is easy to represent, but I try. I have to try. I have to do something instead of just wallow.

And from it, tales of bottles and rooms and cars and building. Of faces and clocks, headphones and blimps. How I let it flow.

Geometry has always been a favourite for me. Everything else is so volatile, so subject to change and interpretation.

But a cube! A cube is a cube is a cube! It's easy to imagine, to rotate in your head, to represent it onto paper.

I mimic by nature to learn quickly. It isn't always the best way, but it works. But to mimic not a person but the works instead, is not something that comes easy to me.

I can't deny I'm enjoying myself. I am. Even if it turns out abysmal, it is better than nothing. I am learning. Learning is fun.

To paint the world would be a feat. The absolute detail mixed with ones own style doesn't sound like an easy task, for me at least.

But I, I want only to paint my imaginations.

Robot

There is a certain calm in following a standard set of simple instructions to the letter. Something about following a process just, brings a type of unique sense of being content.

Because sometimes, it's easier to follow a set of given protocols. To just blend in and be like everyone else. To simply lose your individuality.

There is comfort in being part of a team. We are all team players by nature. It makes all the sense in the world. So it's nice to sometimes just, conform.

Do as you're told. Act as need be. Pretend to fit. Square peg to round hole be damned.

Trash

The putrid smell that comes from the liquid on the road. How wonderfully beautiful. Have I ever told you I once mistaken that smell for food?

The machine slowly chugs along, slow crawling away, slowly oozing out more liquid while doing so.

I never once understood people's distaste towards the machine. It seems to dirtily grand to me. To have so many people rely on you yet dislike you at the same time, I wonder how it feels.

I suppose it's just one of those things that people never really think too much about. Out of sight is out of mind for most you see.

It only takes a certain amount of self control, self regulation, and the machine would die out, extinct.

It is always the case of lacking such self control, such self regulation, and people will continue to rely and hate such machines.

So spare me the melodramatic choir of complaints. Stand up for once in your life and learn.