Fear & Phobia

fear is to be afraid. phobia is to be extremely afraid. yet why do we have phobias? why is it that we fear? some people say that they are born with it. but we are only born with two phobias which are fear of loud noises and fear of falling. even these fears can be easily overcome.




lets say you are afraid of bugs. granted some bugs are poisonous and you may use this to argue your case. but even so, why would you be afraid? sure it may be poisonous but shouldn't you be more cautious instead of afraid?

there are two basic ways to stop your phobias. either keep confronting it until you are not afraid, or think about something else when you are facing it.

but lets use our brains for a moment. lets think, why would we be afraid in the first place? when you think about it rationally, there is no reason to be afraid of anything. spontaneous things don't occur and everything is bound by the laws of physics.

you won't sink into the bed if you sleep without the lights. you won't get chocked to death just because you are in a small room. you won't die if you touch a cockroach (though you may still find it disgusting).

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now then, a little side note.

if you are afraid of something because of a myth you heard, confirm it. don't believe everything you read on the internet.

suddenly you don't what to drink coke because it can dissolve meat in a day? please. unless you actually tried those stupid chain mails to prove this, you will still drink it without fear.

bloody mary? come on people. i tried it and my eyes are both still intact.

if you can't prove it, disprove it. if you can't disprove it, then it probably isn't worth fearing.

if you are afraid of something because of a bad experience, then guess what, we learn of experience. we make mistakes and learn from it. there is no point hiding and running away.

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we fear because of irrational reasons. press the pause button and think about all your fear and ask yourself why. there probably isn't a good reason. its alright to be cautious. its alright to run away when the odds are not on your side. but there is absolutely no point in being afraid of anything.

P.S. being shocked or surprised is not being afraid. if someone suddenly pokes you you are merely shocked. a natural reaction to avoid potential danger.

Touhou 6, 7, and 11 (Trial)

ever hear of the game Touhou? the link gives plenty info but its basically a shooting game. which i suck at.

alright, i'm not exactly a fan of shooter type games in the first place but this games has really nice graphics, which is what attracted me first.it also doesn't eat too much of your disc space and seems to function well without lagging on the average computer.


alright. let's start with [TH06　東方紅魔郷　～ the Embodiment of Scarlet Devil.].

this is the loading screen:


there are a few modes to play in. easy, normal, hard and lunatic. although i suck, i still decided to play normal. this is what i got:

say what? only 24.65% completed? no kidding..

then i took the liberty to play in lunatic to see how good i was:

9.92%. great. just great.

i know i suck and i know it says lunatic. but i was heavily attacked!



but of course, the best part is how i die. i think being a newb in these category of games makes me vulnerable for this type of "sudden burst".

Ah~ the bitter wine of defeat~

alright. moving on, there is [TH07　東方妖々夢　～ Perfect Cherry Blossom.].

loading screen:


this one, i happen to be slightly better:

this is 18.42% in level two!! that means i actually managed to pass level one in normal! (OMFGROTFLMAOBBQWTF)

but when i tried lunatic:

5.89%. thats just sad.

here are two screen shots. the first is when i died once. the second is moments before i lost my last life:



then there is the trial version of [TH11　東方地霊殿　～ Subterranean Animism.]. the full version is already out but i have yet to acquire it. so its only the demo version for now:


i don't have in game screen shots of this but i managed to pass level 1 once. and in lunatic, i died within 10 seconds. twice. then i lost my last life within the next 30 seconds. =.=

so if you like shooter games and anime like art then touhou is definitely the game(s) you are looking for. so far the english patches are up to touhou 9, so there are no worries if you don't understand japanese!

Proof Anime Girls are Aliens

you know when you watch anime, the girls (and guys) are usually out of proportion? this is because they are aliens! what other proof do you need? just think about it. how can they cram their intestines in such a small space? this might just proof that aliens are making animes based on their own anatomy..


if they were aliens, they might have either smaller intestines or no intestines at all! this clearly proves that anime characters are all aliens.


[yes, i know there is not enough space to fit a stomach. stop looking already.]

and if that is not enough, how about the fact that anime characters don't seem to die after an explosion or fall off a tall building? or the fact that an explosion only affects them when it is caused by the main villain?

and it does not stop there. notice how many female anime character have Huge eyes? if it were that huge, how can their brain fit? or is it a fact that their alien brains are tiny but extremely powerful? and why are most male characters having tiny eyes? are the male species of the aliens having bigger brains of equal power?

not to mention, some characters can have large eyes, but when fighting enemies, their eyes turn to the sizes of slit. morphing brain perhaps?

hence, i offer you Cold Hard Proof that anime characters are aliens:



Anime = Alien productions.

AIDS is God's Love

ladies and gentlemen, we all know the horrors of having AIDS. nobody wants it. and even with the advancement of science, we are still unable to find a cure.



when i say God, i do not refer to any religion. i simply refer to it as an incomprehensible form of power. as in the one who created the first thing in the first place. for those who do not believe in religion and believe only in science, you should not disagree when i say everything has to come from somewhere. i use the term God to simplify this matter so please try to keep an open mind.

regardless of religion and race, do you not think that AIDS is a form of miracle? after all, it is because of this fear that people even bothered to look at safety seriously. its like saying that if there is no punishment, it is okay to slack off. but now there is punishment. now there is AIDS. of course some are simply born with it so they don't have a choice. but do you not think that this is something to open our eyes?

when you think about it, the disease may be the one thing that forces us to be aware of our emotions and the emotions of those around us as well. it triggers empathy in us when it affects our loved ones or our friends. it opens our eyes to how bad things can be in life.

humans. we are meant to live together in harmony. we are as if ants, working hard to store food and stay out of harms way. but there are those who like to be alone. like a lone tiger in the forest. and there are also those who like to turn against themselves, causing hate and chaos. this still occurs in this world.

if you do not want to believe in a greater power being the cause of this, then why not we look upon man himself? there are those that can live together. but it is because of those who do not, they cause trouble. they may fear its consequence but they always find a way around it. the bigger the problem created, the harder to find a solution. until at one point, the consequence cannot be undone. there is no cure for AIDS. and this has forced mankind to think before they further hurt themselves and others.

forced to face the ugliness of our own soul and given a chance to reflect upon it. or born with such a curse but lets you understand the heart of another who is the same. is this not mankind's greatest gift? is this not the sign of God's Love?

Christmas Wallpaper 2008

Here are 13 christmas themed anime wallpapers. these are scaled down to be a Ratio of 1280 x 800. some are originally larger. some are not. i cropped them the best i can. enjoy

contains:
code geass
lucky star
fate stay night
mahou shoujo lyrical nanoha
suzumiya haruhi

http://depositfiles.com/files/rpqp3blv0

there were more but i just didn't know what animes those came from so i didn't download them.

Coffee

cans of coffee X2 + red bull (both the silver & red) = stay awake the whole night.

this cannot be good for health right? i even had lack of sleep the night before.

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what happens when you drink a concoction that has a large tablespoon of indocafe and double the amount of sugar? for me, i get a stomach ache. but combined with what i had above, i think i just shortened my lifespan. i'll probably die of kidney failure.

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the agenda for today will be:

*drum roll*

the awesome-ness of being me!

o.O

i am awesome and you know it. the end.

Calm and Steady

i managed to cool down by now. i still feel sucky but at least i'm not suicidal anymore~

Considering Suicide

to live on is to give yourself a chance to try and improve and change beginning from the following moments on.

i'm getting tired of trying.

free me from this boundary of flesh and bone
my body holds not the capacity for me to live
in a world of such great filth
where lies and deceit surrounds
the brain is merely flesh
but the mind is boundless
kill me now and set me free
let me walk the earth with my ideologies and not my feet
let me smell the clear air that we have failed to preserve
and let me taste the sweet wine of death
cut me lose and let me fall
down the path of freedom where everything is possible
let me fall into the abyss where the body is no longer our container
but our soul itself that sustains its own life
let me see the great visions that our minds have yet to perceive
cut my strings and let me loose of my puppeteer
and let me wander free
free into the world of unknown greatness
and eternal bliss
just let me die and set me free.

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have you attention Pur-Lease!!!

do you wake up with shame and despair, and find that pillow is covered with hair~
hardyharhar... that first line was from Sweetney Todd by the way..

yes, yes, i am alive. i'm not dead. don't miss me or anything.

*blows dust off my blog*

alrighty then, let's start the day with a few things i want (i'm needy, i know)
1. i want to learn to draw manga
2. i want a fridge
3. to get a fridge i need a 4.0 average so i also want a 4.0 average
4. i want coffee that can actually allow me to not sleep instead of cutting my sleep time in half
5. i want to watch lotsa anime
6. i want high speed internet connection
7. i want to mod my old resurrected keyboard to be usb and have a few usb ports on the keyboard itself

thats it for now. if i add anymore things to the list, i will start listing unrealistic items...

on to the real show.

the specialty of today's menu is:
my heart is blue~
let's face it, given a chance, everybody wants to find their soul mate. but the thing is, if you are with a person now, is that person really the one?

the world is a broken place where many cannot be trusted. we fall in and out of love. and sometimes, when we find someone that clicks incredibly well, we think he/she is the one. this, of course, is very possible. but there is also a possibility the person is a fraud and a total arse.

is there really a way to know if they are for real?

ladies and gentlemen, if you read many chain mails that tell you how, then what takes away the possibility that these frauds are getting their information from there as well?

we never really know who to trust in this planet. we can only truly love and trust ourselves. because when we put our lives into the hands of our lover, we are filled with doubt.

so the million dollar question is, can you live your life with your partner without a trace of doubt and without an inkling of fear that they may leave you?

to love and be loved is the greatest thing that has been bestowed upon us.

we search eternally for a happy ending that only exist when we let it. but with so much hate and doubt in the wold, not many have found such a thing.

our partners in life are only flesh and bone. can you love them beyond that? can you see pass the illusion of the flesh and truly see whats in their minds? can you truly love them for who they are and not only their bodies? true love is but a rare beauty many have failed to find.

5112008

today, i learned something interesting. you see, by the end of the day, when you really think about it, how many real friends do you have out there? how many would take a bullet for you? how many would risk drowning for you? how many would know when you are joking or when you are not?

friendship is something that can take a lifetime to create but an instant to destroy. yet, the love of friendship can survive through the roughest waves and warm you when you are cold.

friendship is like a diamond. its beautiful. its sparkle can blind others. it can cut through any trouble. but like diamonds, friendship requires time and effort. but for something beautiful that can last forever, one must agree it is worth it.

so what have i learned today? i learned that i actually have such friends.