Coffee

cans of coffee X2 + red bull (both the silver & red) = stay awake the whole night.

this cannot be good for health right? i even had lack of sleep the night before.

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what happens when you drink a concoction that has a large tablespoon of indocafe and double the amount of sugar? for me, i get a stomach ache. but combined with what i had above, i think i just shortened my lifespan. i'll probably die of kidney failure.

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the agenda for today will be:

*drum roll*

the awesome-ness of being me!

o.O

i am awesome and you know it. the end.

Calm and Steady

i managed to cool down by now. i still feel sucky but at least i'm not suicidal anymore~

Considering Suicide

to live on is to give yourself a chance to try and improve and change beginning from the following moments on.

i'm getting tired of trying.

free me from this boundary of flesh and bone
my body holds not the capacity for me to live
in a world of such great filth
where lies and deceit surrounds
the brain is merely flesh
but the mind is boundless
kill me now and set me free
let me walk the earth with my ideologies and not my feet
let me smell the clear air that we have failed to preserve
and let me taste the sweet wine of death
cut me lose and let me fall
down the path of freedom where everything is possible
let me fall into the abyss where the body is no longer our container
but our soul itself that sustains its own life
let me see the great visions that our minds have yet to perceive
cut my strings and let me loose of my puppeteer
and let me wander free
free into the world of unknown greatness
and eternal bliss
just let me die and set me free.

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have you attention Pur-Lease!!!

do you wake up with shame and despair, and find that pillow is covered with hair~
hardyharhar... that first line was from Sweetney Todd by the way..

yes, yes, i am alive. i'm not dead. don't miss me or anything.

*blows dust off my blog*

alrighty then, let's start the day with a few things i want (i'm needy, i know)
1. i want to learn to draw manga
2. i want a fridge
3. to get a fridge i need a 4.0 average so i also want a 4.0 average
4. i want coffee that can actually allow me to not sleep instead of cutting my sleep time in half
5. i want to watch lotsa anime
6. i want high speed internet connection
7. i want to mod my old resurrected keyboard to be usb and have a few usb ports on the keyboard itself

thats it for now. if i add anymore things to the list, i will start listing unrealistic items...

on to the real show.

the specialty of today's menu is:
my heart is blue~
let's face it, given a chance, everybody wants to find their soul mate. but the thing is, if you are with a person now, is that person really the one?

the world is a broken place where many cannot be trusted. we fall in and out of love. and sometimes, when we find someone that clicks incredibly well, we think he/she is the one. this, of course, is very possible. but there is also a possibility the person is a fraud and a total arse.

is there really a way to know if they are for real?

ladies and gentlemen, if you read many chain mails that tell you how, then what takes away the possibility that these frauds are getting their information from there as well?

we never really know who to trust in this planet. we can only truly love and trust ourselves. because when we put our lives into the hands of our lover, we are filled with doubt.

so the million dollar question is, can you live your life with your partner without a trace of doubt and without an inkling of fear that they may leave you?

to love and be loved is the greatest thing that has been bestowed upon us.

we search eternally for a happy ending that only exist when we let it. but with so much hate and doubt in the wold, not many have found such a thing.

our partners in life are only flesh and bone. can you love them beyond that? can you see pass the illusion of the flesh and truly see whats in their minds? can you truly love them for who they are and not only their bodies? true love is but a rare beauty many have failed to find.

5112008

today, i learned something interesting. you see, by the end of the day, when you really think about it, how many real friends do you have out there? how many would take a bullet for you? how many would risk drowning for you? how many would know when you are joking or when you are not?

friendship is something that can take a lifetime to create but an instant to destroy. yet, the love of friendship can survive through the roughest waves and warm you when you are cold.

friendship is like a diamond. its beautiful. its sparkle can blind others. it can cut through any trouble. but like diamonds, friendship requires time and effort. but for something beautiful that can last forever, one must agree it is worth it.

so what have i learned today? i learned that i actually have such friends.