Self Injury

self injury in this post is referring to mild self inflicted injury Not including major wounds such as flesh removal or limb disassociation (amputee).

self injury or self harm strictly refers to activities that bring damage to themselves. best examples would be cutting, pinching, burning, etc. etc..

of course Many help sites have been created to help those who are willing. confessions of self injury increased dramatically years ago when princess Diana admitted to have thrown herself down a flight of stairs.




this is a rather informative image that was taken from a wiki page (first link).

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ANYWAY....
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the real reason as to why i write such a post is because a friend once ask me write a post explaining why i would self injure so it would spare me the time of explaining it more than once. so here goes.

the first time i ever cut myself was During my form 4 first trial examination. i wasn't depressed or sad or anything, just plain bored. i cut myself three times on my left arm Slowly. the third time i called my friend to let him see me doing it. the pain was fun. although, it did leave fine white scars.

i don't recall when the next few attempts were but by the end of the year, i had a number of scars on my hand.

in 2007, i cut myself in the beginning of the year a number of times but each were short cuts. mostly was due to really sad emotions (depression?).

during the later half of year '07, i had cut myself much more making longer wounds. never had the wounds bleed instantly though. but during the near end of the year, i had once cut myself the longest wound that i have known. i have been caught with cut scars more than once by my friends. when they saw the long ones, they tricked me into seeing a counselor.

of course, being the smart mouth that i am, the counselor had nothing much to say. mostly because the long cuts were due to anger that would otherwise encourage me to kill my family members.

since then, i had manage to stop myself from cutting for a long time.

until the 14th of January 2008 (the day before 'my evil side' post). that day i cut myself twice even longer than last time causing droplets of blood instantly. but it wasn't too deep, so it had already healed by now. the reason this time is rage.

experts believe that if someone sees self injury as a solution to problems, they would get addicted to it, like alcohol.

i, however, see it as a route to escape from the rage within me that sometimes grows out of control. after all, the last time i exploded, i jumped from the first floor to hit someone.