things i did today:
watched more mad tv
came across reaction videos
found out what they were reacting to
honestly, i just watched a video that caused many to vomit. it was purely disgusting. i'm just glad a have nerves of almost steel. don't ask me what i watched. i don't want to remember. seriously? no.
oh, and i found a very nice elfen lied tribute.
title: condemned memoir
pretty nice eh?
31 January 2008
Suicide
due to the recent departure of my grandmother from this world, i will post something about life and death that i have been long putting off.
first, consider a car ride to a destination. you get in the car, the car starts moving, then when you finally reach your destination, you stop.
consider the starting of life to be the starting of a journey. and consider death to be the ending of that journey. life, can be seen as only one thing: a journey.
the beginning and the end of life is something equally amazing and horrifying. we live knowing we will die. however, it is what we do during our life that truly matters. similar to driving, we must always make sure we drive carefully.
we live our life like driving a car. we try to make sure we follow the rules (and break some on purpose sometimes) and abide by the law. but although we try so hard, there will always be times when we are challenged to break the law, be it big (killing?) or small (littering?).
like a journey by car, life also has its bumps and times of uncomfort. there will also be times when one wishes time flows faster. and finally, times when you need to refuel.
life as one knows it, is precious and we should guard it well. because the only way life is dissimilar from a car ride is that if life stops, it cannot be started again. when one dies, there is no longer a second chance to live. the window of time that allows a dying person to save him/herself is often small and therefore, one can easily conclude that life is fragile and worth guarding.
why is it then, that there are people who wish to commit suicide? why is it that these people do not appreciate their lives?
when we look out the window of the car of our life's journey, we sometimes see beautiful things. and sometimes, ugly things. when people see too much of ugly things for too long, they crash their car to end their lives prematurely. in real life, one would never crash a car due to horrible sightings but in metaphor, why would any person be so willing to crash their cars (end their lives)?
a human being's brain is hard wired to live. that is why you can't hypnotize yourself to die. but the brain, being powerful as it is, is capable of making you die by pure will. if all you think about is death, eventually, the body begins to break down. immunity level drops. causing the body to be in high risk of illnesses. eventually killing the body.
if all you think about is suicide, eventually, the brain finds ways to do so. but why would a person be even edged to thinking about suicide when everyone knows that there is no 'undo' button for death?
suicide = a fatal escape
when one Wants suicide, one Wants an escape. a means to run away from a problem that seems to hard to resolve. suicide, in their minds, is the only way out.
this post is not intended to make you want or not want to commit suicide. rather, it is supposed to make you realize that suicide is not an answer.
we know if we live, there is a chance to solve a problem. we know if we live, there is more experience to be gained, more joy to be met, more happiness we can aquire. if we die, we know nothing. we know not of where we go after we die. death is just a picture we can't paint.
life is a journey. a journey that will eventually lead many to happiness, and lead some to sadness. if we end that journey, we can no longer move forward to make our lives better. whether you lead a life of joy or grief, as long as you Live, you can do something about it.
first, consider a car ride to a destination. you get in the car, the car starts moving, then when you finally reach your destination, you stop.
consider the starting of life to be the starting of a journey. and consider death to be the ending of that journey. life, can be seen as only one thing: a journey.
the beginning and the end of life is something equally amazing and horrifying. we live knowing we will die. however, it is what we do during our life that truly matters. similar to driving, we must always make sure we drive carefully.
we live our life like driving a car. we try to make sure we follow the rules (and break some on purpose sometimes) and abide by the law. but although we try so hard, there will always be times when we are challenged to break the law, be it big (killing?) or small (littering?).
like a journey by car, life also has its bumps and times of uncomfort. there will also be times when one wishes time flows faster. and finally, times when you need to refuel.
life as one knows it, is precious and we should guard it well. because the only way life is dissimilar from a car ride is that if life stops, it cannot be started again. when one dies, there is no longer a second chance to live. the window of time that allows a dying person to save him/herself is often small and therefore, one can easily conclude that life is fragile and worth guarding.
why is it then, that there are people who wish to commit suicide? why is it that these people do not appreciate their lives?
when we look out the window of the car of our life's journey, we sometimes see beautiful things. and sometimes, ugly things. when people see too much of ugly things for too long, they crash their car to end their lives prematurely. in real life, one would never crash a car due to horrible sightings but in metaphor, why would any person be so willing to crash their cars (end their lives)?
a human being's brain is hard wired to live. that is why you can't hypnotize yourself to die. but the brain, being powerful as it is, is capable of making you die by pure will. if all you think about is death, eventually, the body begins to break down. immunity level drops. causing the body to be in high risk of illnesses. eventually killing the body.
if all you think about is suicide, eventually, the brain finds ways to do so. but why would a person be even edged to thinking about suicide when everyone knows that there is no 'undo' button for death?
suicide = a fatal escape
when one Wants suicide, one Wants an escape. a means to run away from a problem that seems to hard to resolve. suicide, in their minds, is the only way out.
this post is not intended to make you want or not want to commit suicide. rather, it is supposed to make you realize that suicide is not an answer.
we know if we live, there is a chance to solve a problem. we know if we live, there is more experience to be gained, more joy to be met, more happiness we can aquire. if we die, we know nothing. we know not of where we go after we die. death is just a picture we can't paint.
life is a journey. a journey that will eventually lead many to happiness, and lead some to sadness. if we end that journey, we can no longer move forward to make our lives better. whether you lead a life of joy or grief, as long as you Live, you can do something about it.
24 January 2008
Humerus is a Bone
the best (and worse) of youtube
ipod nano
nice song
full song version
not exactly perfect sound eh?
a parody
the i world
more
i better stop before i get hate mail
dating
hmm...
more dating
wow..
let's go back to the first guy
no offense to star childs
mad tv!
i don't pop popcorns
i guess this might insult
or not
but maybe this would
i still don't like the movie
make love
always indeed...
more
time for a break
breaks over
i actually finished watching the first season and stopped
grey's anatomy
stupidity defined
terminator
the future and the past combined.
thats all on this post this time. next time, probably more youtube videos if i have nothing to write about.
ipod nano
nice song
full song version
not exactly perfect sound eh?
a parody
the i world
more
i better stop before i get hate mail
dating
hmm...
more dating
wow..
let's go back to the first guy
no offense to star childs
mad tv!
i don't pop popcorns
i guess this might insult
or not
but maybe this would
i still don't like the movie
make love
always indeed...
more
time for a break
breaks over
i actually finished watching the first season and stopped
grey's anatomy
stupidity defined
terminator
the future and the past combined.
thats all on this post this time. next time, probably more youtube videos if i have nothing to write about.
23 January 2008
Youtube is My Life
a little something interesting i found on youtube
nice eh? a bit of sweet mixing... totally nice... some more nice beatboxing.. ok ok. now relax. go drink a glass of water. now a bit more.. relax again. stretch you arms and flex your fingers. something nice close your eyes and count to ten sloooooowly..... impossible? no. maybe this is hmmm.... marker intoxication waste of ink.. now something relaxing like it? here's more.. that was cool.. let's see.. what should i put now.. time to brain storm.. let me tickle your brain.. funny? laughing yet? let's laugh some more.. that made my stomach hurt some things never die now i'm thirsty the following video contains offensive words such as bitch, suggestions of homosexuality, and mature content. completely not meant for kids of any age. and it's funny.
now that i have given you a complete mental breakdown, it's time you take a break.
nice eh? a bit of sweet mixing... totally nice... some more nice beatboxing.. ok ok. now relax. go drink a glass of water. now a bit more.. relax again. stretch you arms and flex your fingers. something nice close your eyes and count to ten sloooooowly..... impossible? no. maybe this is hmmm.... marker intoxication waste of ink.. now something relaxing like it? here's more.. that was cool.. let's see.. what should i put now.. time to brain storm.. let me tickle your brain.. funny? laughing yet? let's laugh some more.. that made my stomach hurt some things never die now i'm thirsty the following video contains offensive words such as bitch, suggestions of homosexuality, and mature content. completely not meant for kids of any age. and it's funny.
now that i have given you a complete mental breakdown, it's time you take a break.
22 January 2008
Self Injury
self injury in this post is referring to mild self inflicted injury Not including major wounds such as flesh removal or limb disassociation (amputee).
self injury or self harm strictly refers to activities that bring damage to themselves. best examples would be cutting, pinching, burning, etc. etc..
of course Many help sites have been created to help those who are willing. confessions of self injury increased dramatically years ago when princess Diana admitted to have thrown herself down a flight of stairs.
this is a rather informative image that was taken from a wiki page (first link).
----------------------------------------------
ANYWAY....
----------------------------------------------
the real reason as to why i write such a post is because a friend once ask me write a post explaining why i would self injure so it would spare me the time of explaining it more than once. so here goes.
the first time i ever cut myself was During my form 4 first trial examination. i wasn't depressed or sad or anything, just plain bored. i cut myself three times on my left arm Slowly. the third time i called my friend to let him see me doing it. the pain was fun. although, it did leave fine white scars.
i don't recall when the next few attempts were but by the end of the year, i had a number of scars on my hand.
in 2007, i cut myself in the beginning of the year a number of times but each were short cuts. mostly was due to really sad emotions (depression?).
during the later half of year '07, i had cut myself much more making longer wounds. never had the wounds bleed instantly though. but during the near end of the year, i had once cut myself the longest wound that i have known. i have been caught with cut scars more than once by my friends. when they saw the long ones, they tricked me into seeing a counselor.
of course, being the smart mouth that i am, the counselor had nothing much to say. mostly because the long cuts were due to anger that would otherwise encourage me to kill my family members.
since then, i had manage to stop myself from cutting for a long time.
until the 14th of January 2008 (the day before 'my evil side' post). that day i cut myself twice even longer than last time causing droplets of blood instantly. but it wasn't too deep, so it had already healed by now. the reason this time is rage.
experts believe that if someone sees self injury as a solution to problems, they would get addicted to it, like alcohol.
i, however, see it as a route to escape from the rage within me that sometimes grows out of control. after all, the last time i exploded, i jumped from the first floor to hit someone.
self injury or self harm strictly refers to activities that bring damage to themselves. best examples would be cutting, pinching, burning, etc. etc..
of course Many help sites have been created to help those who are willing. confessions of self injury increased dramatically years ago when princess Diana admitted to have thrown herself down a flight of stairs.
this is a rather informative image that was taken from a wiki page (first link).
----------------------------------------------
ANYWAY....
----------------------------------------------
the real reason as to why i write such a post is because a friend once ask me write a post explaining why i would self injure so it would spare me the time of explaining it more than once. so here goes.
the first time i ever cut myself was During my form 4 first trial examination. i wasn't depressed or sad or anything, just plain bored. i cut myself three times on my left arm Slowly. the third time i called my friend to let him see me doing it. the pain was fun. although, it did leave fine white scars.
i don't recall when the next few attempts were but by the end of the year, i had a number of scars on my hand.
in 2007, i cut myself in the beginning of the year a number of times but each were short cuts. mostly was due to really sad emotions (depression?).
during the later half of year '07, i had cut myself much more making longer wounds. never had the wounds bleed instantly though. but during the near end of the year, i had once cut myself the longest wound that i have known. i have been caught with cut scars more than once by my friends. when they saw the long ones, they tricked me into seeing a counselor.
of course, being the smart mouth that i am, the counselor had nothing much to say. mostly because the long cuts were due to anger that would otherwise encourage me to kill my family members.
since then, i had manage to stop myself from cutting for a long time.
until the 14th of January 2008 (the day before 'my evil side' post). that day i cut myself twice even longer than last time causing droplets of blood instantly. but it wasn't too deep, so it had already healed by now. the reason this time is rage.
experts believe that if someone sees self injury as a solution to problems, they would get addicted to it, like alcohol.
i, however, see it as a route to escape from the rage within me that sometimes grows out of control. after all, the last time i exploded, i jumped from the first floor to hit someone.
15 January 2008
My Evil Side
(wow. this is my first post since 2008. i have got to be the most inconsistent blogger out there.)
(this post was named in such a way because my evil self was very strong last night)
every human being is born with a good side and a bad side. a positive and negative. but it is how well we tame that negative that makes us a good person. sometimes we lose control over the negativity in us when we experience intense emotion like rage.
maybe its because i'm a gemini but feel this situation in an extreme level. there are times that i want to kill people and there are times that i simply can't see bad things happen.
although it may seem similar to a case of split personality, it is without a doubt i am in control. good and evil are in everyone but we are merely in between. never too good or bad. picture if you will, you are standing between two people who look like you. one being evil, and the other being good. although we may feel their presence, we are never really them completely.
when we do something good, we are merely Influenced by the good in us. when we do something bad, we are merely Influenced by the badness in us. in the end, You are the one who decides who wins.
in life, there is always a choice. some of which brings great rewards some of which brings none. but it is sometimes the rewards that allow us to so blindly follow the influence of the bad.
if someone asks you to smoke, you can abide and go with the flow. ultimately meeting new friends and enjoy life more. a short term reward that a part of you looks for.
on the contrary, if you refuse, you will be hated for a short time but in then end, you receive a greater reward of a longer, healthier and more comfortable life. a long term reward that another part of you looks for.
we always think that we would have to Know what is good for us before we can follow it. but even if we do, do we follow the correct way?
we have always known what is good for us and what not. we have always known what is good and evil. but in the end, it is the evil or good within you that Influences your decision. so my question now is: whose influence would You follow?
(this post was named in such a way because my evil self was very strong last night)
every human being is born with a good side and a bad side. a positive and negative. but it is how well we tame that negative that makes us a good person. sometimes we lose control over the negativity in us when we experience intense emotion like rage.
maybe its because i'm a gemini but feel this situation in an extreme level. there are times that i want to kill people and there are times that i simply can't see bad things happen.
although it may seem similar to a case of split personality, it is without a doubt i am in control. good and evil are in everyone but we are merely in between. never too good or bad. picture if you will, you are standing between two people who look like you. one being evil, and the other being good. although we may feel their presence, we are never really them completely.
when we do something good, we are merely Influenced by the good in us. when we do something bad, we are merely Influenced by the badness in us. in the end, You are the one who decides who wins.
in life, there is always a choice. some of which brings great rewards some of which brings none. but it is sometimes the rewards that allow us to so blindly follow the influence of the bad.
if someone asks you to smoke, you can abide and go with the flow. ultimately meeting new friends and enjoy life more. a short term reward that a part of you looks for.
on the contrary, if you refuse, you will be hated for a short time but in then end, you receive a greater reward of a longer, healthier and more comfortable life. a long term reward that another part of you looks for.
we always think that we would have to Know what is good for us before we can follow it. but even if we do, do we follow the correct way?
we have always known what is good for us and what not. we have always known what is good and evil. but in the end, it is the evil or good within you that Influences your decision. so my question now is: whose influence would You follow?
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