Disturbed

The following text may be disturbing to some. Do not read if you think you may be offended.

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I saw you fly across me and I pursued you and I caught you. I chained you down and lock you up and put you in a cage. I peeled the wings of your back and drank your blood and cut you up yet you healed. I burnt and mutilated and starved you yet you were still alive.

How strange it seems when I see your torn and broken body that limply tries to beg for freedom. Your torn off wings have long decayed yet you want to be set out of your cage. I look and wonder as to why that could be. Why would you try so hard knowing that you will never fly again?

I would stab you and drive poles through your body. I would bath myself in your blood and pull out your intestines. I would set explosives in your body just to see it explode within you. I would make your swallow gasoline and watch your burn inside out. Yet every time you would never fail to heal from everything and live again. Never once would you die from anything that I have done.

On the way home I saw an infant dead and abandoned in an alleyway. Its mother clearly did not plan on it coming into this world. I brought it home and demanded that you ate it. I forced it down your throat when you refused. You cried despite your weak state as I look at you and wonder whether you find me a monster.

It has been a year since then and yet your sanity has never wavered, never died. I brought another dead infant that I found and yet again, you shivered the entire process where I would force you to eat it. I find it a shame that no one else could enjoy your suffering like me and yet I would not bother sharing you to anyone else.

You have lived so long on such a meal and you never seem to die. You life never faded no matter what I did. Through all the torture and all the pain, you persevered and lived. I do not know if you would ever die but please, live on a little longer so I may enjoy your pain.

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Just a random post.

178 x 155 pixels

178 pixels across and 155 pixels down. Enticement to vector, yes. Very much yes.


(If you don't see it, just click on the image. This is because it is all in black lines and the background in transparent, effectively camouflaging it completely.)

3000 x 2531 pixels. Not epicly well done but I like the end result anyway. Time to completion, less than 3 hours. Done in flash. I need to learn to vector with illustrator dammit.

The Gay Meter

Messing with Samurize continued when a certain someone asked me what are the capabilities of it. After checking back with its website, I came to realize that it can potentially be used to replace my current shell, or at least, be integrated into a much less RAM intensive shell. (Litestep anyone?)



The new meter, dubbed 'The Gay Meter' by a certain someone yet again, has more function than my previous meters. This time, including volume control and indication, shortcut links to a number of commonly used programs, a text pad, and a feed that shows the latest forums topics on the right.

The primary meter is located at the bottom left of the screen, hiding the text pad and feed outside of the screen. By pressing the light purple button, the meter would either slide sideways or upwards to reveal the extra meter. The middle light purple button hides the taskbar.

The thing I like more about this meter is that it has more moving parts. Not only does it have a meter indicating the CPU usage, RAM, and disk space available, it also has three additional bars indicating seconds, minutes, and hours (in sections of 12). a meter for battery life has also been added.

Although unable to autohide, it can be right-clicked in the middle whereby it will disappear and be replaced with a 5 x 5 pixel black dot on the top left corner of the screen.

With an addition of a menu to pull up commonly used folders, this meter has successfully replaced Rocketdock though not having as much eye candy.

This meter was created with replacing the shell in mind. Therefore, an extra meter was created to load the taskbar. However, after managing to compile a very simple program to automate the meters on startup, running without the windows shell proved to have some bugs.

While I consider this meter to at least be a success, the next phase of this project is to create a new meter entirely that integrates the taskbar emulation AND the functions already in this meter. When that is done, adding lots of extra eye candy and functions is a must.

This meter currently runs at 2-3 MB of RAM on idle and can use up to 6 MB of RAM when constantly being used. The target RAM usage for the new meter is expected to be the same.

One thing I noticed with Samurize is that its autohide docking seems a little buggy. I noticed this in particular when using it on my taskbar meter. There is a workaround for this but it DOES make the meter a little more complicated.

Photo Editing

Finally began dipping my hand deeper into the word of photo editing. Things so far have been pretty ok. I am not a man of Photoshop but GIMP can still get me pretty far.

My second attempt in photo editing:

Which is my current wallpaper.
This photo also hides a secret. Congrats if you can find it. (Hint: TokoYami)

Genuine Words

Often we hear the words 'sorry' or 'thank you'. Often we use it as well. But how often it is heard or said with true conviction, sincerity, and honesty? How often do we mean what we say?

Only a short rant this time around. Do ponder a little with the thoughts being thrown around here.

Take for example when we apologies. If we really regretted our action(s), felt the guilt and shame within us, we would apologies and learn from our mistakes, never again prodding into the grounds that of which is restricted. If everyone who has said sorry were to have this mentality, problems involving revenge would easily be avoided. Everybody wins.

Take thank you for example. An expression of gratitude and appreciation of the services of someone or something else. Generally inducing happiness to the ones hearing it. When heard, a person is likely to feel better about themselves and have generally a better day.

When we throw around such words so meaninglessly without care, the words loses its value. Gradually, the words are used without sincerity and people who hear it may as well have not.

Emo in progress

I see a screen with no words. I see a list with no names. I felt a pulse with no life. I see a sky of blue and grey. There was hardly a wind. Heat was still a roommate.

I placed a handkerchief into my pocket. Walking out the door never felt so mechanical. I made my way to the nearby playground. It was empty, as always. The birds there flew away when they saw me. I looked up. Rain was coming soon. Time, 6.00pm.

I placed the handkerchief at the back of my head and lay upon the open ground. I look straight into the sky and my vision was filled with only clouds upon a blue background. I could feel insects biting me and flies resting upon my arms. Time, 6.20pm.

My stomach felt odd. Seeing to as it was mostly empty, I can understand why. I sat up. A pose of ponder followed. The little droplets of rain began to fall. I looked up. The sky was now completely grey. I was lost in time for a brief period. I was mostly but not completely soaked in rainwater. Wind. I shivered. It almost feels as if what I am feeling is being washed away by the rain. I stood up and proceeded to walk home. Time, 7.20pm.

Sleep

As wiki would put it, sleep is a naturally recurring state of relatively suspended sensory and motor activity, characterized by total or partial unconsciousness and the inactivity of nearly all voluntary muscles.

pic very related.

Needless to say, I completely blame this process for my lack of updates in my blog.

While pictures in this particular post were taken without prior consent, I don't really have much to complain as it actually did help me extend to another post although it is not mentally stimulating.



However, one could say that this gives a little insight as to how my room looks like no?

Its Been a While

I know I have not been updating lately. I do not have an excuse as to why.

At the mean time, help yourself to a serving of awesome.

Meter Migration

I had always used rainmeter ever since I found out of its existence. It was a rather helping tool in telling me which programs suck up resources once they start running though sucking a little resource itself.



Ladies and gentlemen, the rainmeter I used. It has a very basic interface really. I simply turned the default image it came with into gray-scale and removed some useless things while adding time and date into it. Nothing too fancy.

But then, during one fateful night, I stumbled upon samurize, which proved itself to be a little more interesting than rainmeter. So, I gave it a shot.



It was not bad at all. Though this time, I didn't simply modify the default skin. Instead, I made my own from scratch. The skin editor was surprising simple and had a nice GUI unlike rainmeter which was limited to only editing everything on notepad.

I made it based a lot on rainmeter, taking out what I find irrelevant and placing some extras that I have been unable to do on rainmeter.

While I liked it much better, some things of it bother me. For one, I can't seem to make it fade-out. Hence, I made it transparent and binded some hot-keys to hide it completely when necessary. Seeing to as I would most likely continue to work on it, I also binded another hot-key to refresh it instantly.

Despite the minor inconveniences, I do prefer it over rainmeter for several reasons:
- It has a very friendly user interface for skin making
- It is definitely less complicated when stretching the limits of what it can do (plug-ins and whatnot.)
- It uses less RAM than rainmeter (in comparison with my configurations.)
- Did I mention skin making from scratch is surprisingly simple?

Do give both programs a try if you find it interesting and do tell me about it.

Links:
Rainmeter
Samurize

Ubuntu 9.10

Oh yes.